


Coming Back

by aphroditus



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 16:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8063299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphroditus/pseuds/aphroditus
Summary: Harley knew what she was better than anyone. She’d been a psychiatrist. Of course she knew she had problems. She could’ve given an exact diagnosis, a notarized list of every messed up thing that went on in her head—if anyone had ever bothered to ask.





	

**Author's Note:**

> slight abuse tw and vague suicide mention

Harley knew what she was better than anyone. She’d been a psychiatrist. Of course, she knew she had problems. She could’ve given an exact diagnosis, a notarized list of every messed up thing that went on in her head—if anyone had ever bothered to ask.

But they didn’t.

She felt alone a lot. With Joker most of her time was spent making so sure she didn’t trip up, making so sure she did everything the way he wanted. She was desperate for his approval, always desperate. 

She’d been desperate on the playground, when she sat in the corner of the playground, watching the kids play without her. She’d been desperate on the mats, giving everything she had to a sport that never gave back. She’d been desperate in college, did things she wasn’t proud of. She’d been desperate for an escape, and so she grew content with who she’d become. 

Her very existence felt like a struggle when he threw her out on the streets again. She didn’t remember much besides feeling numb and she couldn’t do much else besides sit and wonder what she’d done wrong. She was always stuck in her head. 

It was the first time in three years that she really, truly had no where to go. 

After the last time, Red had told her she never wanted to see her again. Harley was too preoccupied with her Mistah J to stay hurting for too long. But now that her head had time to clear, she felt the loss far more strongly. She remembered the good ole days when Red would take her in and bandage her up, put on the cartoon channel and hold her until all the pain went away. 

She’d spent so much time fixing a broken doll who had only ever hurt her in return. 

Her body ached, the bruises kissing her skin burning less subtly now. She settled down in an alleyway, huddled up by a dumpster to keep warm and desperately wishing for relief that never came. But soon the shivering stopped, the pain dulled, and she was pulled into darkness.

A part of her wished she’d never wake up. 

She was warm, that was her first observation. She was warm and no longer wearing her tattered jester’s costume, but pyjamas. And she was in a bed, a soft bed with clean sheets and fluffy pillows. 

For a second, she thought she might be dreaming. 

She sat up, eyes flitting across the room in attempt to recognize anything at all. She didn’t. At least, not until Ivy herself walked in the door. 

Both were stunned to silence. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to be awake yet,” Ivy admitted, sounding almost…nervous. It was unsettling to Harley. Red never got nervous around her before. 

“I…uh,” the blonde stammered, not quite sure what to say. “How’d ya find me?” 

It was the one question that was bugging her more than all the others.

“I go to check up on you sometimes. Just to make sure you’re not dead,” Ivy mumbled, the words barely audible. But Harley heard them. 

“So what does this mean?” was the next question that managed to fall past her teeth. With so many thoughts swimming around in her head, she couldn’t do much to stop them from leaking out. 

“It means, I didn’t want you to freeze to death,” the redhead grumbled. “I can’t keep doing this with you, Harleen. It doesn’t matter what he does to you, you’ll always go back to him. And every time, I’ll be left hurting. I can’t…I can’t do it anymore.” 

“Red, you know I can’t help it, it’s just—“ 

“I know,” she sighed, “I know you, Harley. But what I feel for you is…terribly, terribly human and I know those feelings are never going to be reciprocated. So, I’m taking a step back. Stay here until he calls, get better. I stocked the fridge and there’s cable, that should be everything you need.” 

She was gone before Harley could think to say another word. 

It was lonely without Ivy around to keep her company. Maybe she was only in her greenhouse, seventy two steps from the bedroom to be exact, yet she’d never felt further away. 

Harley knew what she’d done wrong. She knew she’d hurt her friend, hurt any chances they had of going back to the way they were before by going back to him even after Ivy had begged her to stay. 

But she still couldn’t admit she was wrong. 

Joker was an impulse. He was the decision she made every time because she needed him to love her. If he didn’t, everything she’d gone through, everything she’d put herself through would have been for nothing. She was nothing without him. 

She didn’t understand why Red couldn’t see that. 

Nothing got easier. She could hardly get off the couch, let alone make herself a meal or get up to wash the many abrasions that littered her skin. But even then, she could’ve lived with those things. She could’ve lived with the silence and the pain, if only Red were there to keep her warm. 

It was two days later that Harley couldn’t stand it anymore. She marched herself over to the greenhouse, ignoring the aching in her abdomen and the scrapes on her knees. She was a mess. 

Ivy didn’t look much better. 

“I told you to stay put—“ 

She was interrupted with a kiss, messy and desperate, but not unwelcome. And Ivy kissed back, tangling her hands in the harlequin’s hair and moving her soft lips gently against Harley’s.

Both women broke into tears. 

“It’s okay, sweet pea,” Ivy soothed, pulling Harley’s head forward to rest gently on her shoulder. “I’ve got you now.” 

And maybe Harley would never stay, maybe he would always be a part of her. But for those moments, those brief little moments where both could forget reality and lose themselves in the other, all the pain and the heartache was finally worth something after all. 

Harley knew what she was better than anyone. She’d been a psychiatrist. Of course she knew she had problems. She could’ve given an exact diagnosis, a notarized list of every messed up thing that went on in her head—if anyone had ever bothered to ask.

And one day Ivy did.

She sought to understand, to listen, to learn. Harley told her everything. 

And once the tears had dried and the silence was comfortable once again, the blonde found peace. She clung to Ivy like a lifeline, holding her close so she could never disappear again. 

After everything was said and done, Ivy watched her go with a sad smile written on her face. But even as she watched her love walk away, she understood. 

She knew that no matter what, Harley Quinn would always come back.

**Author's Note:**

> I attempted at writing for people other than myself. Feel free to let me know how it went :)


End file.
